Refabrication

Upon this web of energy life continues to show It's depths to me. Did I ask for this? Do I claim to be intelligent, knowing, that I have figured anything out? No, I do not. My Being is but a fleck of dust, a droplet of water, upon the breeze or as a glimmer on the crest of a great wave. Of course, we are each as deep as the ocean and as passing as the wind across the meadows.

Contemplation is no longer an active process and seldom do I find my mind entangled in the unraveling of what I observe...and yet, the world draws me into It. The infinite calls for me, the eternal ocean laps at my feet, holding loving arms open that I may dive in.

This last week has been absolutely riddled with epiphany, rapture, and a resounding peace. Presence has taken on a new fundamental quality of which experience has both revealed and instilled. A return to a state of Being that reminds me of my studies on evolution, of the discovery of the purpose of fear. This objective realm, sprouted upon the masculine, embraces me as a Goddess with countless arms of tender touch, the softest most delicate lips upon my brow, and a warmth that illuminates my body with bliss.

The matrix of light, whose vibration grows nearly still when touched by our consciousness, begins again to accelerate.

Among the concepts offered in the form of radical realization has been an array of which subconscious patterns have risen into the conscious. I cannot express how deeply engrained into the fabric of the original design of Nature these energetic programs are. Words do no justice to that which has been permeated by thousands of years of necessity, by the infallible force of evolution. Yet this process is quite comprehensible, as the purpose of such brings a light that validates all which has been before either in experience or in the consideration of possibility.

For this I have gratitude of which words also fail to express in this moment.

On a surface level we each find ourselves transcending from the various depths of fear. As the Being discovers the root of which trust becomes readily available the ego begins to transform into something quite new and splendid. The fear that has forced us into the objective begins to resolve and with each stage or depth of which the veils of the subconscious are lifted, trust becomes further and further fortified.

I had absolutely no idea this was possible to the range of which I now can access.

Okay, now onto the specifics, for in this blog I offer the logical consideration of what is a sensational experience, and it is the feeling to which I would now direct One's attention towards. Those feelings that are within unpleasant have a great more to them as responses to experience, for there is a current of belief which leads to their transmission.

What could be considered as a negative emotion, even when rationalized as important and accepted as the resolution of which the content of life is let go or allowed to be, is a sign post for an inner working. Feeling is naturally very important and in no way would I suggest to look away or to let go of that which has not been immersed in the light of consciousness. Alas, there is much more than what we even find in our deepest contemplations, for as all things, we are always of a greater expanse of truth and we are always furthering our voyage into such.

In my minds eye I see this like a wave, a great potential for the awakening of endless souls into Being. When those difficult emotions become the means for insight into the very workings of our collective consciousness we have found the key to the gates of heaven, of which the light spills forth into the place of our Being, and the two become one.

If we are sad or hurt, of course this is okay, this is wonderful, for we can find peace with what is through acknowledging and accepting the content of life. This is a level that is beneath the surface, of which we normally find unconscious reactivity. At first we see that our hurt becomes an expression, we find our own path to refining this expression and aligning such with the intention to find Love and Peace through such.

When we at last begin to restructure how we interact with the world we go deeper into the realm of which these emotions rise. After we have achieved an ability to let go, to see the good, and began our journey down the avenue of trust, the next phase is quite wonderful. We harness the power of this energy, and where before there would be an expression reflective of the discomfort there now arises an expression of forgiveness, willingness, and even gratitude.

Deeper we go, for the hurt still arises, the frustration, the mental reactivity, even when such is followed by a conscious response we are still only slightly under the surface. This week, after years of living in a way motivated towards the alignment of intention and expression, finally the shell has broken, and the source of these blips where peace falters, has come into awareness.

Even when apprehended a means to letting go, accepting, and even seeing the good in that which does not immediately feel good, there still remained a subconscious program for which these feelings would arise from. There is a fabric of which evolution has been woven, a blanket of beliefs which are imperceptible from within the warmth and comfort of Its being.

As we have discussed before, to be of something, to be within a way of seeing, is to be entirely unaware of that which we are of, for such is all we know. How have I telescoped beyond this pervasive and permeated quality? I surely do not know, yet I am so grateful for such in this moment of illumination.

I cannot say there is a path to discovering what lay beyond this sheath of which from within we blossom. There is no real knowing of any of this. Yet I cannot look away from that which the light has been shed upon, it fills my awareness and seems to coat the external world as a film ever so subtle.

We hurt for many reasons, just as this hurt becomes suffering for us each at some point. At the root of all unpleasant emotion appears to be a principle of which we believe, ever so subconsciously, that such is required of life. The only example I have of where observation of detachment from this pattern is within my own Being....yet I trust in the possibility that such is available to everyone when the time is right. The perpetuation of discontent seems to be based off of definitions of what is right or wrong, that life is impermanent, and at times even that we have no choice in these matters.

Although I feel compassion, and pray for the most gentle and direct path for each to reach their own unique revelations, I do not wish away the suffering of another. I would not choose to deprive another of the blessing of which suffering or pain may serve as a signpost to discover. For so long I have questioned emotion, why do you rest within, why do you become irritated and fill my awareness without my own choice? But I did choose, we all choose, as this is the path to discovery, the path of growth into being a conscious creator of our own unique universe.

We must find the source of all things, we must transcend these inherent programs of Nature, this is our destiny. We have no choice in the matter of where we become Nature awakened, for life is utterly full of the catalysts for exactly this.

Perhaps I have not described so well this recent expanse of awareness....perhaps such is before words, before expression, and so I but dance on the surface of an ocean of unfathomable depth. We can but sing our song, wether such is heard or not, and in our every action is a broadcast of how we see. Effortlessly our beliefs are incorporated into the world, echoing out into each thing we touch, each person we see.

I hope that within what may be a feeble attempt at expressing such a profound quality of awareness there has been much inspiration. Perhaps a seed has been planted, one of which the rich soil of the readers mind has manifested for their own Being.

Into the ether I send these words. An offering of gratitude to the Great Divine that has brought me into It's loving arms. Today the fear that has quietly lived beneath the surface, the patterns of which discontent must arise again and again, is caressed by the waves of my consciousness. Surely this tide can change the face of a stone, slowly, patiently, seemingly without effort. For it is through the patient and gentle stroking of water to stone that it's hardened surface can become smooth just as it is the subtle energies of each moment that the foundations of perception are made new.

Blessed Be,

Nathan

Return to Grace

In browsing about the past several years of fragmented posting among several blogs attached to this one you may find a story of what I have called a fall from Grace. A period where what studies my life had carried about reached an apex in a point of reference of which there was no separation between I and all else. From a rapturous state which ebbed and flowed over the course of a year or so I found my identity dissolved into the external world. This was quite the intense duration, lasting 4 months in and 4 months out.

After returning to the collective reality I often found my thoughts driving me towards a return to this state, yet within conscious and practical control. I missed the vision, the utter compassion, the synchronicity and connection of all things. At the same time there was a passive acceptance that I was not prepared for a return. Nearly three years have passed now.

What an incredible experience this has been. Where peace gradually reconstituted action and the force of will, becoming more of a conscious process then just a sort of submissiveness. Subservient to the dictation of an expansion and solidification of identity and the unique expression of Nature that is I, where I have gone in mind and of body, strikes me with awe in this moment. Often I say that I could not have consciously chosen the path to manifest by any means better than such has been laid at my feet.

Yet this process has not been free of will, rather the ability to apprehend and apply choice that reflects my intentions has slowly returned. An alignment of who I am with what I see and what I do has been near fully restored. At the same time a new found trust, depth of awareness, and fundamental structure has been built, naturally, through the Grace of a God both Omnipresent and infallible.

This last week has been riddled with radical shifts of consciousness. The subconscious layers of conditions drop one by one as the events of each day highlight such. Each day the people and situations of my life bring about exactly the right revelation or release at precisely the right time. Quickly following as an application or expression is the quality that has been remembered, apprehended, or discovered for the first time within my awareness.

As we ascend, as the density of our perception lessens and our awareness fills with observance of new depths of which the subconscious has been conditioned or programmed by the energetic patterns of our shared reality. The original design of Nature, as such is relative to my individual experience, resolves into a conscious, or more specifically Tantric, quality of moment to moment existence. All routes are retraced, each condition prior to Ones current state is reevaluated and either resolved further or released.

The release is dependent on wether or not the quality serves a purpose of illumination, the disillusionment of what was truly but a catalyst. The substance of which the flame is ignited becomes part of the new product and no longer resembles the root of it's own source. The truth has been assimilated as part of the shape or nature of the consciousness such serves.

Some of the more radical revelations, from which Grace seems to flow, are programs of which the portion of self that extends beyond immediate experience are still processing. Like ripples from a big splash, an entropy occurs, where one light enables countless flames to be lit. This does not mean that I is central to all else beyond my individual point of reference, for such is always catalyzed by a seemingly external or independent function. For the sake of Absolution, Self-evident Truth, this is exactly how such occurs.

If how we see creates what we do, think, and feel then that which we create reflects our conscious understanding. With each action is written on the cosmos this point of reference, this independent structure, of which the content of life must conform to. Just one ripple amongst an ocean of consciousness, frothing with potential. Through how we see we reprogram Nature to meet our relative beliefs, if not we continue to perpetuate that which serves as the catalyst for such.

It is all strangely quantifiable through Alchemy, Vedic or Qabbalistic traditions, and as has been instill upon my beliefs, is readily available for any who are prepared and willing for the revelation of such.

Okay, so let's talk specifics...before we finish such a bold statement of perspective it is best to provide plenty of doorways for relation, and therefore comprehension, available to those who would manifest such.

....immediately I recognize just how much content leads to the context of such an epiphany...

One of the major revelations which can be put into rather brief terms, is that of intuition and trust. When a veil begins to drop and vision is extending into the principles of the new insight, there is an emotional response. How we feel seems to be projected backwards in time in order to force the process of logical incorporation....this one factor of the mind's function for consciousness is a tangent of which I will not subject the reader to, yet I do wish to imply consideration of such, posing a question of such, may bring about verification for the reader.

My emotional reactivity had to do with traffic here in Bali. Where native drivers seem oblivious at times, most of the time, to what I had come to see as "common sense". A fear based system of which the rules of the road are formulated tends to create persistent judgement as to the actions of others. At times I would even just blurt out loud my dissatisfaction for the lack of observance to these "common" rules of traffic.

As I just said, this is a fear based perspective, I was subconsciously believing that what I know as safe and considerate was a shared understanding. At least, shared between those who adhere to the rules, those who did not were crazy, unconscious, oblivious, arrogant, among other things.

Then it hit me.

Driving along the streets intuitively, with presence and a trust as to the Nature of life in general, results in a lack of adherence to any rule system other than that of intuition alone. If I were to trust that everyone around me is doing what feels right, investing their awareness in what is happening around them, and that life was progressing according to a perfect unfolding of resolution, then there would be no space or purpose for judgement. A person isn't crazy for going so fast, they are spending their own time as what feels right and driving in a way that reflects that.

When I allow them to be fully and avoid applying what I feel or think is right to them...when I do not in my mind or by my mouth or actions tell them "you are wrong" I empower their intuition to best serve everything else. I do not throw a wrench in their proverbial machinery, our energies co-exist cooperatively and our interaction reflects this. The person passes me by at a hundred miles an hour, and I stay to my side of the road to let them pass...no conflict arises.

The accident I had here some time ago reflected an adherence to this so called common sense, it actually got me injured because I assumed I knew what anothers truth was. That they would use a blinker, or that the car I was passing wouldn't be driving so quickly headlong in the middle of the road. So in my contraction of possibility, holding fast to preconditioned beliefs rather than intuition and trust, I met a conflict with my subconscious pattern directly...in the form of colliding with another motor bike.

Everyone turned out okay, it resolved quickly and I walked away thinking, they should have been more aware, they should have used their blinker, I should not have been in a rush....very practical ideas to think...yet filled with judgement, fundamentally in the belief that error or mistake can occur in a process of Nature which is in my heart as Absolution, perfect and without error. If you asked me I would say, "oh it worked out perfectly because now I wear my helmet, they might remember to use their blinker, and time was set just right for synchronicity to unfold." Although there is an air of perfection in the situation there is also in essence a distrust, judgement, and reapplication of a static system of belief.

The opportunity to see that my beliefs had contracted form possibility into an example of the fear that underlay, into what is an original pattern of Nature...where obstacle is required as a means for adaptation and change...rather than one that adheres to trust, allowance of possibility, pure intuition and a dynamic perspective of life.

The revelations of this depth pop up on a daily basis now, resolving into a situation that verifies such and at which point digressing to the next aspect or depth of subconscious where a preconditioned or unconscious pattern of belief rests.

My intention is to live the highest vibration, to live in service of the all, to be a living expression, a living work of art, for which my own Nature creates. I choose to be a part of the matrix of life, I choose to be available for the manifestation of that which will bring forth the revelation and awakening of the inner Nature of others. I stay grounded as long as such is relative to all else around me....we ascend together, or we remain on the ground level resolving that which might compromise the state to which we are returning to.

Thank you Source of all that is, that which is beyond the mind, beyond my experience, and of which all is enabled to be. How gracious and magnificent this process is, how radical God empowers the Nature of the individual to be independent yet connected and unified cosmos of It's own. How absolutely incredible is this return to Grace, this ascent into the fulfillment of Our creative potential, for which I have a resounding gratitude, trust, and willingness to continue discovering manifest.

Blessed Be,

Nathan